Our decision making seems fueled at times by this need to relieve distress rather than the intrinsic value of what we Halfway house are seeking. Desiring stuff seems at the root of my fear based stuff – the exquisite torture of desire which soon loses it’s so-called relish and just becomes torturous. It is a strange feeling of not wanting to be found out of being less than, not good enough. “If people realise what the real me is like, they will reject me! ” type thinking although a lot of this is unconscious and does not pop in to our minds as thoughts but is an unconscious self schema that shapes our behaviours.
Celebrating Our Team: Craig Ellis – Men’s Program Coordinator
Many men and women in AA describe certain feelings they had before picking up a drink or drug. Many of us felt that there was something wrong with us or something missing—in short, we felt different from other people. We couldn’t understand why the people surrounding us could feel happiness or contentment, so we turned to drugs and alcohol as a means of self-medicating our perceived shortcomings. From our time spent feeding our addictions, we feel that the opposite begins to happen. Rather than providing a feeling of relief, we find ourselves in a perpetual “dark night of the soul,” cut off from any sense of spiritual comfort.
The Spiritual Malady
- Except unlike burning our house down, we can’t go find a new body to live in if we destroy the one God gave us.
- This is not to say that all HSPs or empaths will develop complex grief, but for some, there is certainly the possibility – especially if there has been a history of unresolved trauma.
- This practice can be done by maintaining a gratitude journal or by simply acknowledging one thing each day that you are grateful for.
- It’s been medically proven that after a few days of not drinking, alcohol is completely processed out of the body.
- Recognizing and addressing spiritual malady is essential to one’s overall well-being.
But first, let’s examine how complicated grief is connected with an important spiritual experience known as the Dark Night of the Soul. And this does not refer to just active alcoholics, it’s referring to the sober state of mind of the dry drunk. Each time we wake up from a modus operandi state of unconscious reflexive autopilot thinking and reacting and become mindfully aware of our internal and external experience, there is an awakening spiritual malady of spirit.
Understanding Spiritual Malady
Page 64 simply refers to this “inward unmanageability” as “the spiritual malady.” You are merely instructed to be open to the idea that you are not the end all be all, that there exists out in the universe something that is greater or more powerful than yourself. However, you choose to interact with that higher power is also up to you.
For some, it may manifest as a feeling of being disconnected from others or as a sense of emptiness. The 12 Steps of AA, or Alcoholics Anonymous, stand as a proven path to recovery for millions worldwide struggling with addiction. Page 62 says, “Above everything, we alcoholics must be rid of thisselfishness (“the ego”). We must, or it kills us! God makes that possible. And there often seems no way of entirely getting rid of self (ego) without God’s aid.” As overwhelming as I’m sure this all may seem for someone who’s either never had a spiritual connection, or been disconnected for years, I’d like to assure you it’s not as formidable as it may seem. But first, it’s crucial that you understand the difference between a spiritual experience and a religious one. While I could go on forever on the differences between these two ideas, I’ll keep it as simple as possible.
The Mental Obsession
No matter where you are in your spiritual journey, you’re welcome here, and you’ll find help and acceptance. Theodore Roosevelt once said, “Comparison is the thief of joy,” and this rings particularly true for those suffering from spiritual affliction. When someone is preoccupied with what they don’t have or feel insufficient in their current situation, they risk losing sight of the things that matter.
I have seen in myself how fear and shame seem to drive most of my maladaptive behaviour. Some of us are “people pleasers”, some of us are dismissive towards others. It is all manipulating our interaction with others to our selfish ends. A decade of therapy also showed Bill Wilson he has two default settings in his relationship to other human beings – he either tried to dominate them or he became dependent on them for his sense of self and emotional well being. In other words, he became dependent on others, on external means for approval and elevating his self esteem. What is the “elephant” in the middle of your family’s living room that everyone knows but no one talks about?
Journal about how you feel
We can not rely on our thoughts and feelings or, in other words, our Self Will. Our self will has become impaired and is no longer in the service of our successful survival. We have difficulties in our relationships with others, these relationships are often unhealthy and ill. Some of us have this knawing feeling of not being good enough, have a hole in the soul which we are/were kinda always unconsciously trying to protect, shield from the world. As a result we are guarded against those that we perceive will reject us or be negative to us, harm us in some way and we seek to dominate these folk or we are dependent on those who are kind to us, help us and care for us. We are in a sense co-dependent on other people for our sense of esteem.
- In addition to the above-mentioned practices, exploring one’s creative side, cultivating positive relationships, and living a balanced lifestyle can enhance spiritual growth.
- So long as we make an active effort to address our spiritual malady every day, we will find relief from it, one day at a time.
- The role of physical dependence and psychological addiction in alcoholism partly explain why those with alcohol use disorder are unable to moderate or discontinue use.
- This spiritual disease affects every aspect of our lives, leading to feelings of isolation, loneliness, and despair.
- It reminds us that recovery is not just about abstaining from substances, but about creating a life filled with meaning, purpose, and connection.
Theologians of Experience: Women Mystics on the Reality of God in Prayer
Participating in a spiritual community can provide support, accountability, and opportunities to grow and learn. As part of the overall treatment plan, clinicians may advise medication management for persistent or severe symptoms of mood disorders such as depression or anxiety that can hinder progress towards spiritual fulfillment. When it comes to battling spiritual maladies, a helping hand can make all the difference. As we seek to overcome our own struggles and afflictions, we must pay attention to those around us who may be struggling as well.
Inside The Alcoholic Brain
If you are on social media, you can also find many groups and pages that are dedicated to grief. Simply look through grief-related hashtags (such as #griefsupport #griefjourney #griefrecovery) or search up grief-related pages. In fact, sometimes it’s a wiser choice to reach out to those who are intimately acquainted with grief and can adequately hold space for you. If you have a complicated relationship with those in your life, you might feel unsafe with them, which may be preventing you from reaching out. So the key here is to find a person or group of people in which you feel safe around.